First of all, being a parent is not an easy task. We raise and educate our children to the best of our knowledge . However, dealing with differences like having a trans daughter makes the situation even harder to accomplish.
Even if you support your child and you hope that they live the perfect life it is impossible to control everything and everyone around them. The older my daughter gets the harder it is for me to protect her from the outside world and it makes it scarier every day.
I get more and more worried as I watch the news and see how much anger there could be against LGBTQ and trans people. This anger and hate keeps me awake at night. I still don’t understand that some people can judge her or treat her badly because she is trans.
We need to stand up and say No to that kind of treatment against LGBTQ and trans people. We need to spread love and acceptation. It is important to teach our trans kids to be confident and standup for themselves.
I really hope that one day this will not be an issue anymore and that she will be able to live a peaceful life. She has the right to that and I will continue to support her and the LGBTQ community for this goal.
When I founded Fit 4U solutions, it was to help her feel good in her clothes. Now with all the testimonials we have received, I realize that having access to tucking underwear has a major impact on every day life. It is a way to feel safe, to be able to go exercise or dance, to wear what you want, when you want, without being afraid that someone will notice your differences.
Continue to support your trans community, one person can make a difference.
Annie
We invented SAFE tucking underwear because there was nothing else available on the market. My daughter is trans and it was very important to me that she had the same opportunities as any other girl. As we say, if you want something just go out and get it. This is exactly what FIT 4U stands for.
Back to school period is a very scary period. Especially with a child who is different.
I am always afraid that she will not feel accepted, that friends will not be nice.
At the beginning of each class, I meet the teacher in private, to talk about my daughter. Meeting the instructor allows me to make sure she understands what is at stake. We talk about what can help my child and what harms her.
I am not an expert, but these are my personal advice as a parent of a transgirl.
SCHOOL
Accepting is not only a question of transgender school laws and policy but more importantly it is about having everyone at school involved in the integration, so I meet the teacher and/or school staff at the beginning of the school season.
Explain what is at stake for my child.
Provide a few key phrases in case there must be an intervention. For example: “Lyam is happy like that, she feels like a girl, so we must respect her. We want everyone to be happy”.
Explain that certain behaviors are harmful.
Helping the child in not forcing he (or she) to assert a gender in front of everyone is very important. For example: during an activity, the guys team up, and the girls team up on their side. For a non-binary, or transgender child, it may force them to choose a situation that makes them uncomfortable. As a suggestion, why not divide in alphabetical order or use their current standing in the room.
Being always available.
The third element is to reinforce the fact that I am always available for any questions they may have. If the teacher or students have many questions, I can even make time to meet them if necessary. Show support, be available and be an ally with your child.
To take pressure off her shoulder and to prevent her from having to explain herself, we developed specific key phrases that would answer the most current questions. It really helped. For example:
In primary school:
"I'm fine like that if you want more explanation ask my mother."
In high school:
"I feel good, and I take responsibility, if you have a problem with who I am, well that's your problem and not mine."
Like many, you may be wondering how to measure your underwear size. I mean you have a physique that is particular to man but will wear an underwear usually made for a woman’s body.
Many transgender and non-binary are ordering/wearing the wrong underwear size. A lot has to do with the understanding of tucking gear size and measurement which is why I decided to do this article.
Traditional female underwear or panties measurements are calculated based on your waist size. This is usually determined by measuring around your waist, right where you belly button is. One item that is often overlooked, and is of the utmost importance, is that your birth physique is masculine. Therefore, your hips are smaller, and its shape is different. This plays a huge factor in your size and what type of tucking gear will be the perfect fit for you.
Therefore, we developed our tucking underwear specifically for your body type. And that explains the need to take your measure to the hips and NOT to your waist.It’s also important to remember that when you are looking at these measurements to not round to a whole number. FIT4U Solutions makes tucking gear in a tighter material so you don’t have to settle for discomfort — just make sure you go with the larger size if you hesitate between two sizes.
TIP: Any time you hesitate between two sizes, go up a size, especially for the Active FIT.
Use our helpful Underwear Size Chart as a sizing guide.
Time to speak openly about how we feel, how to deal with our feelings and find what options we have. Find support and grow as a human being. By learning about LGBTQ Pride/History Month, people are more likely to have an understanding and acceptance for all individuals, no matter what they look like, what gender they do or don’t identify as, and who they love. Pride month is a movement that encourages people to come together in the spirit of acceptance, generosity, friendship, and love.
Hope for those that are still in the closet or those who haven’t accepted themselves for who they are, yet. It’s about people boldly being who they are, loving who they love and expressing their truest selves. Whether you are transgender, queer, gender fluid, bisexual, adam, gay, lesbian…. You are entitled to be your truest self. we still have a long way to go in the struggle for equal rights, as many members of the LGBTQ community still face discrimination. I hope one day, society will recognize that at the end of the day, we are one: a human being.
As a LGBTQ business owner, it is a time to express my love for this wonderful community and show that we support them. We are – I am – my daughter is – part of this community. Pride is an opportunity to stand in solidarity with the LGBTQ+ and celebrate their liberation, freedom while also recognizing the continued oppression that is faced today. We are part of this community and the importance to show that we care is essential to the Freedom of everyone involved: the people, the families, the businesses, the communities and more.
Let’s celebrate being our true selves and loving who we love!
Annie Boutin, FIT4U Solutions Business Owner and proud mom of a transgirl
In some gyms, not judging others and inclusivity is a part of their business model. Try to find this type of gym in your neighborhood. It is best to have a feel for your gym's atmosphere and we mean by that knowing the layout of your changing room and the types of people that go to your gym. You are as entitled as anyone else to use the gym and locker room so stay calm and confident.
Depending on your class environment and how comfortable you feel, you may have to consider avoiding the locker room altogether. If you're able to, change clothes before you arrive at the gym and leaving personal belongings at home or in your car. You can also change and shower at home if that makes you feel more comfortable.
In most locker rooms, men's or women's, the folks inside are going about boring business of changing, showering, or grabbing their personal belongings. Most folks won't really notice you.
If a staff member approaches you, you could ask to speak with the person in private to explain your situation. Some gyms are inclusive and have no problem having gender neutral, trans, non-binary, gender fluid, queer, or any gender in their gym.
If someone approaches you believing that you are in the wrong locker room, be confident and assess the situation. If you do not feel safe in any locker room setting, walk away, either until you feel it is safer, or permanently. One thing is sure, try to find a gym where you are supported as you work out will be more beneficial.
The way we see it, you should be able to do anything you want. Whether you're new to tucking or have been going smooth for some time, our tucking underwear provide a comfortable, flat, gender-affirming tuck that you can wear undetectably with yoga pants, legging, shorts or just about anything you want.
To help with changing, pick clothes that are easier to get into and out of quickly. Pick looser shirts and tanks over tight athletic shirts.
If you want to use the locker room, know that our ACTIVE FIT tucking underwear will allow you to change in the locker room with confidence as per customer feedback
Hi!
This week, I am spending time with great people. I am at a conference “Celebrating Gender Diversity”. Embracing diversity in any way, shape or form is so important.
Gender representation is part of the forthcoming generation. It is about being more aware, socially and it’s beyond the surface beauty.
Beauty really comes from the inside whether you are transgender, crossdresser, transdresser, partly trans, androgyn, nonbinary, queer, drag, dragqueen, cosplay, shemale, it does not matter. What is mandatory is self-love. This is what I appreciate from the LGBTQ community. We are about acceptance and love.
I know that the fashion industry isn’t exactly known for its broad selection of models. But it’s been changing, and whether it is plus size or transgender or non-binary community that is leading the way, if everyone feels good that’s what’s important to me.
Being more aware socially of the wonderful human behind its surface. I met a lot of those beautiful humans this week. I am so thankful for it.
I have always believed in finding a solution to a problem. "Changing the world to help and include everyone shouldn't be a trend; it is part of humanity."
So, if a transgender woman is proud of herself and want to feel good in her underwear and clothing, I am all for it.
I applaud transgender and gender fluid models that are walking the runway – in and outside of fashion. They are capable, beautiful, and moving boundaries to new heights.
A human is a human, bottom line. Everyone is entitled to be what they want to be and who they are.... Gender fuild, bigender, non binary, pangender, genderqueer, androgynous, transgender.... It's called Human Kind. So go ahead, be yourself, love yourself. We support you all the way.
Thank you to everyone I have met this week for embracing diversity. Step by step, we are making a better world. In fact, progress is being made and together we are moving to “The Freedom to be Yourself.”
Annie Boutin – Founder of FIT4U Solutions
There are so many trans women suffering in their underwear. Feeling comfortable in our underwear is something we often take for granted but it is not the same situation for everyone. A great outfit starts with underwear whether you are a transgender woman, a non-binary, a drag queen, or anyone on earth. At some point, we all ask ourselves the question: what underwear I should get to be comfortable.
My daughter Lyam was going through the same problem. She was unsatisfied and couldn’t find a solution. And that is why I called it FIT4U Solutions by the way 😊
So, which one is the best underwear is up to a few factors:
1.
First, it needs to be comfortable. There is no way around it, you need to feel you can do anything. To make it simple, while the right underwear can make your day, a wrong choice can easily make you have a bad day. It can be a familiar itch, one side is sinking, you get a pop tuck, can’t go to the restroom. Sounds familiar?
2.
Second, it should keep everything right where it should be. If you want to do yoga or squat or rock climbing or dancing, then you should be able to do it with ease not even thinking of your underwear or your shapewear as some call it. Feeling confident is another factor in choosing the right shapewear for you.
3.
Third, trans women who still have a penis need to get a tucking underwear based on how much coverage they need to hold their penis in place. Go with a choice of underwear for tucking that is wider at the gusset, that also has premium materials to hold everything together and make your genitals look flat. So, you can feel confident and good about yourself all day.
4.
Last, some would add that you need to fit your underwear with your transgender clothing or Drag queen outfit. Why not?
I hope this helps. I know Lyam is quite satisfied with her underwear now and that makes me quite happy as a mom of a transgender girl.
What does taking care of yourself mean? I often hear that it means taking care of your appearance, taking care of your physical health, taking care of your mental health, but in my daughter's case it also meant taking care of practicing tucking safely.
But first, what exactly is "tucking"?
Tucking is a technique where a transgender person hides the penis and testicles so that they are not visible under clothing.
When I started to educate myself on the subject, I quickly realized that it was not that easy and that there are several methods, some of which are dangerous to your health. I am referring to using a tape to hide the penis between the legs. Social media educates us about this kind of practice: it is painful, uncomfortable, difficult to remove and not easy to go to the bathroom.
And so, I looked for a solution for my daughter Lyam.
In an ideal world, Lyam wanted the panties to do the job. She didn't want to use a tape nor to use a gaff. No constraint she said.
“Disappointed with what I could find on the market, I decided to make some panties myself with Lyam. Then, as she experienced immediate benefits to her body, comfort and appearance, the idea of sharing it with others grew in my head. "
And that's exactly why I created the FIT4U Solutions panties. So that my daughter Lyam could have a safe solution… thus the “safe tucking” appeared in Lyam's life with a choice of compression according to her activities.
Taking care of yourself for my daughter is therefore possible with the practice of safe tucking.
It doesn't matter what people say: your thoughts, feelings and opinions are valid; it's the very first place to start taking care of yourself. So, don't let anyone change who you are.
This is also THE FREEDOM TO BE YOURSELF.
Dressing up for a pool party when you are a trans girl is quite complicated.
What to wear to be comfortable without having 3 layers of clothing so that it does not show?
Should I wear a bikini or is a one-piece swimsuit better?
I had no idea.
All I can say is that I wanted my daughter to be able to go to pool parties with her friends and experience fun rather than stress and discomfort.
And that’s what triggered the idea of creating a bikini bottom specifically for transgender women (and girls too, of course!). A jersey that respects the anatomy, a specific cut at the crotch, the right choice of fabrics and compression, elastic, etc.
Now, I can't wait for next summer.
To see my child flourish without worrying about the penis standing out or showing. Knowing that she will be going with kids her age because she feel safe in her bikini and comfortable to move around as much as she wants is priceless.
I can't wait to see her have fun, swim, enjoy her day at the beach, by the pool or by the lake. To play with her friends in the water like any other girl her age. This is freedom to be yourself!
At his party, Lyam received a skateboard from one of my girlfriends.
Lyam was so disappointed that my girlfriend said to me, "Take the invoice, go back to the store and let Lyam choose by himself."
So here we are at ToysRUs shopping for the perfect birthday present.
After all, at 5 years old, you start to get a sense of what you like. Lyam goes straight to the princess aisle and chooses a very beautiful princess dress.
Takes the hanger and puts it around his neck.
Spinning the dress.
Sparks in his eyes.
Turning around in circles.
With his two favorite princesses, Ariel (The Little Mermaid) & Belle (Beauty and the Beast).
I saw the happiness in his eyes and his gestures.
We were obviously observed. Observed, judged and all the rest that comes with it.
Then, I said to myself “too bad for others”.
I see happiness in my child's eyes.
I told myself that the world is hers, no matter how my child decides to conquer it.
Today I tell her, "You have the power to become the woman you want to be."
